Literate ApeCast Ep. 91 — The One When Himmel Quotes MLK Unironically

The narcissism of the FaceApp software combined with the exposed surveillance that comes with it.
Does buying shit on Amazon Prime Day make David anti-union?
Are Cubs fans really supporting Donald Trump?
Protesting the things that actually matter is unsexy.
The Squad is just handing the election to the Donald.

All this plus six things to do or read or watch to fill up the time between your soul-sucking 9 to 5 existence to remind you that there is more to life than whether or not Arnold stole your quinoa salad from the staff lunch room.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 90 — If They Put a Man on the Moon, What the Fuck Am I doing with My Life?

“Let’s do talk about the moon. And watch it become a therapy session.”

Don and David begin the conversation talking about the amazing international hug that was the result of the moon landing nearly fifty years ago, deviate some into why Ocasio-Cortez is blowing her platform, and somehow end up reflecting on David’s mid-life crisis.

Plus six things for you (and David) to do in order to recapture the wonder you’ve lost in the constant anxiety surrounding the question of what the fuck you’re doing with your life.

“If I have to explain to you the meaning of life, it won’t be funny anymore.”

Literate ApeCast Ep. 88 — The Awkward Dance of Corporate Sexual Harassment Training, Why Dems Are Blowing It, & Leaving Facebook

Following Himmel’s triumphant return to Las Vegas just days before, the boys wax on about the very concept of the sexual harassment training everyone is required to suffer through these days, reflections upon the Democratic candidate debates, and Don’s choice to minimize (as much as possible) his use of Facebook in order to survive moderately sane.

Plus six things you must engage in or be left behind like Kirk Cameron in those Christian apocalypse movies no one has ever seen.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 86 — Defining the Gift Horse, The Delusion of the Every-Trump, and Don was Hopefully Stupid as a Child

The Chimps in Charge dive into the concept of looking that gift horse in the mouth, the delusion of self promotion, and injuries they both sustained as children that undeniably demonstrate that at least they were incredibly stupid in their first twenty years or so.

Plus six things for you to do to keep your wandering attention away from the despondent knowledge that we will all die soon enough.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 85 — Artists Steal, Harry Has an Email Address, and Belknap is a C**t

Following a barely anonymous accusation of plagiarism, the Co-Editing Simians wax on (and on) about the accuser, the concept of artists who cover the music of other artists, and the question of whether intellectual property is a gate or a fence.

Plus, some things to read and watch to help you form your own opinion while wiping the drool off of your chin after drinking a PBR and watching Fox & Friends dictate your sad, myopic worldview.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 84 — Go to Mexico, Get Lobster Pizza?

For David’s fortieth birthday, he and his wife Katie went to Mexico to swim with the whale sharks, soak in the rich Mexican culture and food like pizza and chicken fingers, and lay on the beach to relax without the kid. Things were not as advertised.

Plus six items of homework for you to do as you seethe in jealousy at the success of other people and think about writing a show to insult them repeatedly but realize it’s all due to your easily bruised ego.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 83 — Forty Years Old? Might as Well Cash It In, Old Man!

It’s David Himmel’s fortieth birthday today! He and Katie hit the road for birthday R&R in Mexico so this is an episode compiled of a few random conversations that never made it before — David’s tricks to freelancing, his predictions of who he will be post-forty, a clip of him getting his first tattoo, and a deep dive into his frustration that Katie doesn’t drive stick (that’s not a sex joke, btw).

Plus, Dana and I present six things for either David to do or for you to do in tribute of the Himmelian.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 82 — Birth Control for Men, We Love Our Bloodshed and the Hopelessness of Political Compromise

Two morons took over the ApeCast! One saw John Wick, Chapter 3 — Parabellum and wondered about whether he could love it and still be anti-gun, the other wants to explore ways men can practice birth control, and then both get into the seemingly hopeless nature of finding political compromise.

Plus three things from one and three things from other’s wife to do this week (not including looking up “copper birth control” on Google).

Literate ApeCast Ep. 81 — Which is the Worst Bad Movie: Batman & Robin, Short Bus, or Attack of the Clones? And Will Desi Arnez, Jr. Become Don’s Bela Lugosi?

After last week’s nerd-fight over Endgame, Don & David dive into movies so bad that they aren’t even fun-bad. The only true disagreement is David’s hatred for The Dark Knight Rises and Don’s love for it. Then they look at movies or books that are indicative of their lives right now and why David hasn’t written a screenplay yet.

And, due to your confirmed general anxiety syndrome and lack of curiosity in the world beyond your navel and the inside of an Eggo’s box, the boys provide six things to watch, read or listen to in order to prevent you from eating that pistol in your Archie lunchbox.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 80 — We Spoil Endgame in This Podcast and Discuss How Exactly Time Travel Works (Because Three Nerds Apparently Know…)


Don and David blow out the Endgame Spoilers right off the bat in discussing their deeply felt reactions to this cultural benchmark. Then, they bring in Literate Apester Brian Sweeney and get into the lack of Captain Marvel (in Endgame and in her own solo film) and then things get dicey and nerdy as the dialogue comes to David’s dislike of Professor Hulk, Brian’s dislike of the hastily crafted script, and Don’s unfettered love for the decision of Captain America to go back and live out an alternate life with Peggy Carter. Trust me, it gets mega-geeky and too fucking specific and demonstrates that nerds are just as insanely angry as activists.

Finally, we get to six things for you to do this week following processing the end of Phase…3?4?…whatever…of the MCU.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 79 — Whose Death Is It Anyway?

David and Don start with a Washington Post article (The Funeral As We Know It Is Becoming a Relic — Just in Time for a Death Boom) and get into a dialogue about death, funerals, Don’s notion of the Tyranny of the Least Tolerant, and the odd nature of social media and how it affects the realities of grief and memorial.

They also task you with six homework assignments of items designed to give your pathetic mouth-breathing life a spark of hope in the light of every Leftist candidate being a piece of shit according to someone.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 78 — I Have a Yeast Infection, So Am I a Baker?

The boys are joined by Vincent Truman and get into a bizarre, bit-filled circular conversation about the concept of what makes an artist: intent or cash? Is calling yourself a writer enough to pass the bar or do you have to actually be good enough to make a living? Vincent also explains why he thinks background acting isn’t really acting.

Plus six things to do to boost your social capital despite your post-breakup weight gain and claim of self-diagnosed PTSD.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 77 — I’m Nothing Without My Following! Influencers, Public Freakouts, and Homework

Don may have a real problem. Youtube rabbit holes. In today’s episode the Gentlemen Chimps look into the tragedy of Instagram Influencer Jessy Taylor and the bizarre viral trend of compiling live videos of people losing their shit in public. David read something in The Atlantic about homework and it has him really pissed (but not enough to freakout in public while being video’d by some random dipshit).

In addition, with the knowledge that if you are listening to this podcast, you are a truly sad and lonely human primate in need of things to do, as always the guys present six things to do, watch, listen to or read.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 76 — Is Tyler Durden Also Neo And Can All The Complainers Shut The Fuck Up?

D & D spend a little time discussing the twentieth anniversaries of both Fight Club and The Matrix, get in deep about Plato’s Cave, and parse out their complaints about the fact that people who complain are fundamentally as unhealthy as second hand smoke.

With six assignments (that include avoiding Tim Burton’s Dumbo at all costs) that guarantee your limited winning potential at a random bar trivia night if the topics include Orson Well’s unfinished final movie.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 75 — Six Ways to NOT Prank Your Wife On April Fool’s (Unless She’s Wearing Leggings In Wicker Park)

This week, we deal with dilemmas that David has but can’t admit to his therapist: his random boners in the park now that Spring is approaching and how to most effectively prank Katie and still stay married on April 1st. Yup…it’s like eavesdropping on a middle-aged man in therapy if his therapist were a cranky burned out former rugby coach.

Plus, as usual, six assignments for you to complete this week to avoid reading about the next mass shooting, climate disaster, or Trumpenstein step in shit.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 74 — Don Solidifies His Grumpy Old Man Bonafides While David Seeks a Pre-School

The boys parse out the idea that children protesting is either merely political theater or a sign of a better future as well as the search for a proper pre-school for 12-month old Prince Harry sends David into a rage about little kid mucus.

Also, six assignments for you to accomplish in the week that guarantee you’ll be smarter and better than a six-year old kid protesting climate change while screaming about the lack of Oreos in his lunchbag.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 73 — Underwhelmed by Captain Marvel, Overwhelmed by the Desperate Need for Optimism in the Shadow of the Coming Demise

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, you bunch of suburban racists!

This week, D & D jump into their less than enthusiastic reflections on the latest Marvel film, discuss the need for optimism in the Age of Trump, and are joined by American Shithole scribe Eric Wilson to talk about his latest piece, finding any sense of hope in light of Deep Adaptation: A Map for Navigating Climate Tragedy, and how to talk to the Other side after they’ve been brainwashed with thirty years of FOX News.

Plus six assignments for you to accomplish to stave off the encroaching dread that forces you awake at 3:15AM and makes you seriously consider offing yourself by walking slowly into a lake.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 72 — The Death of Luke Perry, the Humor of McSweeney’s, and Rolly Pollies

David and Don bemoan how completely, horrifyingly unfunny McSweeney’s has become, those movies they watched a billion times as kids, the passing of 52-year old 90210 icon Luke Perry, and a quick realization that all the bugs are dying off with the planet. Also, with Himmel’s crap headphones, it sounds like Hall is recording in a canyon.

Plus, six things to do instead of trolling Faceborg and Snapchat while being paid a sub-par wage in a soul-sucking cubicle gig that is just casually ticking the moments of your life away.