Literate ApeCast Ep. 99 — A $65 Cocktail Is The Sign That Climate Apocalypse Is Inevitable

The death of Eddie Money. Both of the Alpha Apes celebrated wedding anniversaries this week. a $65 cocktail Himmel bought for his wife plus Hall’s disdain for Hamilton. Also, on a lighter note, why not just concede that we’ve lost the climate change war and start preparing for the inevitable apocalypse?

Plus six tasks for you to accomplish in order to be allowed into the house and make soap from human fat.

Literate ApeCast 95 — Banning Movies, Hanging A Sex Trafficker, And The Shame Of Mia Khalifa

The Gentlemen Gorillas talk the aborted release of the Blumhouse feature, The Hunt, the bizarre twist of fate that causes David to remember Johnny Epstein (who recently hanged himself) at family gatherings), and the odd tale of sportscaster Mia Khalifa and her early brush with porn superstardom.

Plus six activities for those of you so used to being spectators that you only become active in your lives when a disembodied voice on a podcast tells you I do it. 

Literate ApeCast Ep. 94 — Whose Camp Story Is It Anyway?

The Writer’s Nightmare: you write a book, it sells and does well, and seven years later one of the subjects of the book reveals that they hate it and have issue with your version of their story. David confronts the legacy of an historic camp and the damning criticism of his book about it.

Plus six things for you to do that guarantees you will be smarter than that receptionist at your therapist’s office who so often looks at you like you have dogshit on the collar of your shirt.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 93 — How To Access Your Inner Cliff Booth And Know That Fainting Is Not On The List

After seeing Tarantino’s latest, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Don finds a goal in Brad Pitts’s character Cliff Booth. The uber cool, expend no unnecessary energy, be able to only care about that worth caring about. Beset with news of Chicago storytellers still trying to resurrect past beefs, David gets incensed while Don channels his inner Cliff Booth. Also, David is a fainting nancy boy.

Plus six things to watch, read, and listen to in order to prove you aren’t the friendless invalid hermit your petty behavior broadcasts to the world.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 92 — High Maintenance, Batshit Crazy, or Tarantino-esque. You Decide

Himmel reads a piece about the latent misogyny of When Harry Met Sally in the Atlantic and posts a feature length rebuttal. We talk about that, the concept of ‘high maintenance’ people, and his hatred of You Got Mail. Then onto a discussion of the term “crazy.” Is it gaslighting if they’re truly lunatic? And finally some talk of the films of Tarantino in prep to see his latest.

Plus, six assignments from teachers who slept at their desks, sniffed mimeograph paper, and gave you a better grades if you’d go place bets for them at the local Sportsbook.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 91 — The One When Himmel Quotes MLK Unironically

The narcissism of the FaceApp software combined with the exposed surveillance that comes with it.
Does buying shit on Amazon Prime Day make David anti-union?
Are Cubs fans really supporting Donald Trump?
Protesting the things that actually matter is unsexy.
The Squad is just handing the election to the Donald.

All this plus six things to do or read or watch to fill up the time between your soul-sucking 9 to 5 existence to remind you that there is more to life than whether or not Arnold stole your quinoa salad from the staff lunch room.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 90 — If They Put a Man on the Moon, What the Fuck Am I doing with My Life?

“Let’s do talk about the moon. And watch it become a therapy session.”

Don and David begin the conversation talking about the amazing international hug that was the result of the moon landing nearly fifty years ago, deviate some into why Ocasio-Cortez is blowing her platform, and somehow end up reflecting on David’s mid-life crisis.

Plus six things for you (and David) to do in order to recapture the wonder you’ve lost in the constant anxiety surrounding the question of what the fuck you’re doing with your life.

“If I have to explain to you the meaning of life, it won’t be funny anymore.”

Literate ApeCast Ep. 88 — The Awkward Dance of Corporate Sexual Harassment Training, Why Dems Are Blowing It, & Leaving Facebook

Following Himmel’s triumphant return to Las Vegas just days before, the boys wax on about the very concept of the sexual harassment training everyone is required to suffer through these days, reflections upon the Democratic candidate debates, and Don’s choice to minimize (as much as possible) his use of Facebook in order to survive moderately sane.

Plus six things you must engage in or be left behind like Kirk Cameron in those Christian apocalypse movies no one has ever seen.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 86 — Defining the Gift Horse, The Delusion of the Every-Trump, and Don was Hopefully Stupid as a Child

The Chimps in Charge dive into the concept of looking that gift horse in the mouth, the delusion of self promotion, and injuries they both sustained as children that undeniably demonstrate that at least they were incredibly stupid in their first twenty years or so.

Plus six things for you to do to keep your wandering attention away from the despondent knowledge that we will all die soon enough.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 85 — Artists Steal, Harry Has an Email Address, and Belknap is a C**t

Following a barely anonymous accusation of plagiarism, the Co-Editing Simians wax on (and on) about the accuser, the concept of artists who cover the music of other artists, and the question of whether intellectual property is a gate or a fence.

Plus, some things to read and watch to help you form your own opinion while wiping the drool off of your chin after drinking a PBR and watching Fox & Friends dictate your sad, myopic worldview.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 84 — Go to Mexico, Get Lobster Pizza?

For David’s fortieth birthday, he and his wife Katie went to Mexico to swim with the whale sharks, soak in the rich Mexican culture and food like pizza and chicken fingers, and lay on the beach to relax without the kid. Things were not as advertised.

Plus six items of homework for you to do as you seethe in jealousy at the success of other people and think about writing a show to insult them repeatedly but realize it’s all due to your easily bruised ego.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 83 — Forty Years Old? Might as Well Cash It In, Old Man!

It’s David Himmel’s fortieth birthday today! He and Katie hit the road for birthday R&R in Mexico so this is an episode compiled of a few random conversations that never made it before — David’s tricks to freelancing, his predictions of who he will be post-forty, a clip of him getting his first tattoo, and a deep dive into his frustration that Katie doesn’t drive stick (that’s not a sex joke, btw).

Plus, Dana and I present six things for either David to do or for you to do in tribute of the Himmelian.

Literate ApeCast Ep. 82 — Birth Control for Men, We Love Our Bloodshed and the Hopelessness of Political Compromise

Two morons took over the ApeCast! One saw John Wick, Chapter 3 — Parabellum and wondered about whether he could love it and still be anti-gun, the other wants to explore ways men can practice birth control, and then both get into the seemingly hopeless nature of finding political compromise.

Plus three things from one and three things from other’s wife to do this week (not including looking up “copper birth control” on Google).

Literate ApeCast Ep. 81 — Which is the Worst Bad Movie: Batman & Robin, Short Bus, or Attack of the Clones? And Will Desi Arnez, Jr. Become Don’s Bela Lugosi?

After last week’s nerd-fight over Endgame, Don & David dive into movies so bad that they aren’t even fun-bad. The only true disagreement is David’s hatred for The Dark Knight Rises and Don’s love for it. Then they look at movies or books that are indicative of their lives right now and why David hasn’t written a screenplay yet.

And, due to your confirmed general anxiety syndrome and lack of curiosity in the world beyond your navel and the inside of an Eggo’s box, the boys provide six things to watch, read or listen to in order to prevent you from eating that pistol in your Archie lunchbox.