I want my lunch like I want my women: Tasty, not too hefty, and won't give me diarrhea.

Sometimes I think people make things harder on others just to give themselves a sense of control in their otherwise chaotic and mismanaged lives. Those people need a hug. Like, smother them to death.

Ask around.

When you dream, how old are you in that strange, dusky landscape called your subconscious? Do you know? Does anyone, really?

I don't remember a lot of my dreams. I sleep like a wood carving or a stone tablet. When I'm out, I am out. But when I do remember my dreams, I can't recall what age I may be. It always seems a bit like I'm physically all over the place but mentally the age I am now (which some might argue is about 13). How old should I be?