Hotboxing My Dad: A Weed Trip and the Future Failure of Illinois

I imagine it’s hard to find work when you look like you sleep on a bong-water bed. Maybe not. Maybe this guy could straighten up and look more straightedge and acceptable for any other job. But why bother? In Denver, he could put his vast and exceptional knowledge of cannabis to great use. And he could do it without all the judgement and assholery that comes from a culture which things looking like a pothead is a bad thing. This guy, this stoner behind the counter, was more helpful than any putz at any store you could visit in the Clybourn Corridor.

The Fuck Styles Of Famous Poets

In honor of National Poetry Month, I would like to discuss a few things about poetry. As we all know, poetry is when words are written in a rhyming. When we write in rhyming, we are poets. Some people say that poems can be not rhyming, but these people are stupid. William Shakespeare invented the first poem and he also made the rules of poems. 

William Shakespeare's Rules Of Doing Poem

  1. All words must be in doing rhymes

  2. Poetry is fancy and should only be done by fancy boys

  3. Not rhyming is just words and not poetry

  4. Macbeth

Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of April 15, 2018

• Former First Lady Barbara Bush is an inspiration when it comes to family. She stood by and supported her husband as he ramped up the War on Drugs and exacerbated systemic disadvantages toward people of color. And she was proud of her bumbling nitwit son as he committed heinous war crimes. If Barbara Bush can do that, then Katie should have no problem always having my back, and no matter what kind of human turd my son ends up becoming, I’ll always be proud of him. Thank you, Mrs. Bush, for being such a role model.