There are three accomplishments every one of us needs to ensure a complete and great day:
1. Physical– Lift, run, swim, move
2. Mental– Write, sing, paint, create
3. Spiritual– Give someone a selfless orgasm

Martha Stewart is coming for Betty White’s place as America’s favorite old white woman. Stewart is ahead because we don’t just to hang out with her, we want to bang her.

If you get excited about 401 Ks, you really sound like a schmuck when you rail against the failings of capitalism.

Does Elmo go to school? Because I wouldn’t mind seeing that little red monster take a bullet in a school shooting.

There are more of us than you would think, but we don’t really have any softball jerseys made up yet, and we don’t get a chance to soapbox about flipping sexual identities very often. A full 180. It’s not typically smiled upon nor understood. It doesn’t fit any convenient pre-packaged narrative or label.