I believe… that if the renaming of “Mr. Potatohead” to “Potatohead” is the hill you’re going to die on, you may need to get some sort of professional evaluation.

I think it’s clear to us all by now that men are simply not well-suited for gracefully managing the complex interpersonal connections necessary in the public sphere. They are too, shall we say, lusty and too ruled by instinct; these are not bad traits, not a sign that men are made wrong in any way — simply that they are different from women.

The idiom, “You can’t please everyone all the time” no longer holds water. Today, when it comes to product marketing, if you don’t please everyone all the time, you’re going to upset enough people so much that their digital pitchforks and torches can destroy your brand in an afternoon.

What’s the solution? The death of targeted marketing, maybe. If I were the director of copy, I’d suggest the following: “You know that bath time is precious.” Don’t specifically identify anyone other than the buyer, whomever and whatever that may be. It’s just as accurate.

Austin, Texas — A small skirmish outside of the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema’s Ritz Theater has ignited a gender war unparalleled against anything in recorded history and may lead to the very end of humanity