Donald Trump Declares Himself the 45th and 46th President of the United States
The Patriot Protection Act declares a one-mile radius around the White House to be “lava”.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Trump Live Tweets Gettysburg Address
ILIKE WAR HEROES THAT WEREN’T KILLED..
Boners! Boners! Boners!: America’s Unexpected Historical Hard-ons
With each revelation that another powerful and popular, often beloved, man has been accused of sexual harassment, we collectively exclaim, “No way! Come on!” and ask ourselves “Who’s next?” Eventually the shock wears off giving way to accusations that aren’t just gross and likely criminal, but also strangely pathetic.
And so, allow me to present to you, recent discoveries of sexual misconduct committed by some of our most treasured figures.
Kindly Persuasion Works Better Than Outrage
When Abraham Lincoln was 33 years old, he gave a speech inside a Presbyterian church to a temperance society. His message: The assembled ought to be nicer to drinkers and sellers of alcohol, rather than shunning them, or denouncing them as moral pestilences. Indeed, they ought to use “kindly persuasion,” even if a man’s drunkenness had caused misery to his wife, or left his children hungry and naked with want.