The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Trump Live Tweets Gettysburg Address

Patriotic panderer Lincoln wraps himself in the flag.

Patriotic panderer Lincoln wraps himself in the flag.

By Joe Janes

Soldier’s National Cemetery of Gettysburg

Gettysburg, Pennsylvania

Late Morning    Thursday, November 19, 1863

Lincoln – Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

TRUMP TWEET – LAZY ABE LINCOLN THINK ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL. TRUMP IS WAY SMARTER AND STRONGER. WHO IN HELL WOULD WANT TO BE EQUAL TO LAZY ABE???ALSO, WHAT’S WITH THE MATH? SHOW OFF!

Lincoln – Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. 

TRUMP TWEET – TRUMP HAS ALWAYS SAID WAR COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED. IT’S EMBARRASSING. NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO NEGOTIATE BETTER THAN TRUMP. THERE ARE GOOD PEOPLE ON BOTH SIDES. NEGOTIATE! ALSO, HAVE TO SAY, THEIR FLAG LOOKS GREAT!

Lincoln - We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

TRUMP TWEET – THEY DON’T DESERVE A SPECIAL CEMETARY. ILIKE WAR HEROES THAT WEREN’T KILLED.. 

Lincoln – But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. 

TRUMP TWEET – IF YOOU CAN’T DEDICATE OR CONSERATE THEN WHY ARE YOU THERE? YOU SHOULD BE IN WASHINGTON DOING YOUR JOB. IF I WERE PRESIDENT I WOULDN’T HAVE TIME TO GO OFF VISITING CEMETARIES. I’D BE WORKING FOR THE PEOPLE. HOME MANY PLAYS HAS LAZY LINCOLN AND HIS SOME SAY HOMELY WIFE SEEN SINCE HE HAS BEEN PRESIENT?

Lincoln – The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather…

TRUMP TWEET – SO LONG AND BORING! LISTENING TO LAZY LINCOLN MAKES TRUMP BORED. I’M GOING TO SWITCH OVER TO THE JOURNAL OF COMMERCE WHERE THEY REPORT THE TRUTH!

Lazy Lincoln reads his speech from a piece of paper.

Lazy Lincoln reads his speech from a piece of paper.

Previous
Previous

The Adventures of Aborted Andy | Episode I: Meeting Your Maker

Next
Next

I Like to Watch | The Invisible Man (2020)