The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Winning the War on Thanksgiving

Ted Cruz equates Thanksgiving with gun rights. You can either let him eat turkey or you can eat lead.

Ted Cruz equates Thanksgiving with gun rights. You can either let him eat turkey or you can eat lead.

By Joe Janes

Libs want to take away Thanksgiving!

Why? We don’t know.  

They are unpleasant people who prefer non-holiday communist things. 

Here’s what you can do to fight politically “correct” dum-o-crats.

 

1)    Say “Merry Thanksgiving” to everyone you see. Take off your mask so they can hear you clearly.

2)    Eat your meal near windows that face the street. Lean out the window with a giant turkey leg in one hand and a handgun in the other. Throw turkey bones on the lawn as a reminder that “Thanksgiving is celebrated here!”

3)    Wear your Trump flag bib.

4)    More marshmallows than sweet potatoes. They really hate that. 

5)    Honor Donald Trump by pardoning the turkey and then eating it anyway. 

6)    Remind your family that if it weren’t for American pilgrims, Indians would have starved.

7)    Say grace LOUDLY and be sure to thank Jesus Christ who started Thanksgiving. 

8)    Remember, Thanksgiving isn’t about the food. I’m just kidding, it’s all about the food. 

9)    On social media, don’t forget the hashtag #BlackFridaysMatter

10)  Safety Tip: Remind your relatives not to eat the COVID parts of the turkey.

Learn from native Americans at the first Thanksgiving—bring a chair and bring your own food.

Learn from native Americans at the first Thanksgiving—bring a chair and bring your own food.

Previous
Previous

Gratitude in an Ungrateful Year

Next
Next

I Believe… [Free College is Righteous]