• With a holiday where near everyone is so obsessed with overeating for completely irrational reasons, it's refreshing to sit next to my nephew as he tries to weasel out of eating five more Skittles-size bites of turkey. I'm with you, kid. Enough is enough. Put the fork down, Fat America.Read More
The sand almost burned the spaces in between my toes, but felt delicious. Little stubs of thick and thin palm shoots would poke up into your feet if you didn't walk carefully.
When the plateau melted the blue water came into view. Sure enough there it was- three figures on a mid-sized daysailer. No chop, but close, and the broadsheet was full. Two orange stripes and the number D-850 standing out near its apex.Read More
For Thanksgiving in 2012, I was single and Mom decided that I should come out to my step-sister's place in Branson, Missouri for a good old-fashioned country Thanksgiving. The carrot was family. The stick was Missouri.Read More
Thanks. Giving. Thanks - We are thankful for the opportunity to be together and eat food. Giving - I am giving up my free time to do so.Read More
If you ever watched The People's Court, you were assailed with court cases that often were as petty as they come. Neighbors suing neighbors for cutting down trees, going to court against family for a George Foreman grill that was left and won't be returned, rage-filled people suing each other over slights and financial hardships that amounted to children spatting with each other over stolen marbles.
It was always more about the Principle of The Thing than The Thing.Read More
There aren't ANY white people. Science and your own weird rules just killed them all!Read More
...that the Progressive slogan for Election 2020 is now officially "Cutting Off Our Noses to Spite Our Faces."Read More
When asked about the upcoming holiday, I get all tingly thinking about the roasted turkey, the creamy mashed potatoes, the gravy, the yams! But that’s not what others think about, anymore. They stuff themselves at noon and put their boots on and are waiting in stores for the Black Friday sales before their turkey has even reached their small intestine. Oh, but what about family time? Well, hell, bring the kids, send them out on their own little mission to find that marked-down item in the catalog! Don’t forget to put them in helmets and full body armor, the crowds get pretty rough.Read More
We were the Grouchos! We’re not the Margaret Dumonts — and we’re turning into the Margaret Dumonts on a lot of levels. That lets the misogynists and homophobes and racists seem like the rebels: “Well, we’re saying what people can’t say anymore.” We should be having way more fun with language and jokes and going too far. If our side starts doing that, then I think we’re fucked in terms of moving forward as a society. -- Patton OswaltRead More
I most recently joined the World of Crowdfunding with my new Patreon Campaign. I’m torn as, in general, I’ve seen far too many of these efforts resemble either a corrupt civil servant trying to raise money for bail or legal fees, someone desperately using it as a replacement for medical insurance, or Ian Belknap using GoFundMe to help pay for an office space so he doesn’t have to deal with his kids at home while churning out pedantic screeds on Faceborg.
Go ahead and Google “crowdfunding abuse” and the list is long and ugly.Read More