For me though, I remember the feeling I had when a true progressive — one completely untethered from the klepto-capitalist clutches of billionaires, boardrooms, and banks (That’s a Lois Lane level of alliteration!) — was running against Hillary Clinton; and winning.

But first, before they throw themselves like chum to sharks, every democrat must apologize.

Right. I can see why they’re all lining up to get it out of the way early. The hypocrisy of singling out moments of stupidity every well-meaning democrat must now say they are “sorry” for, while this criminally incompetent president sits atop a mountain of bullshit, deceit, cruelty and treachery, is likely hard for them to stomach.

It’s like comparing parking tickets to pedophilia.

Take the gloves off, Democratic Party, and start swinging like you’re fighting for your country’s life — because you are. Stop fucking Gillibrand-ing each other; stay fucking unified.

Remember the Al Franken!

Look, I’m a statist. I’m hardwired for cooperation. I like societies. I like the things societies provide. I don’t think it would be better if society collapsed and I had to shit in the woods every day.

When I think of PBS, I think of the very best our society has to offer.

PBS: Because nobody really likes to shit in the woods.

Aliens only stop here when their intergalactic junker breaks down, or when they’ve foolishly run out of space gas — so every once in a long while, one of them gets stranded.

Here’s what I’m thinking… I’m pretty sure they left us Roger Stone.

Luckily, American Shithole managed to sneak one of our top investigative reporters into the World Economic Forum — where a surprising number of billionaires felt comfortable expressing their complete lack of empathy on the record. Here are a few choice statements:

I hope we get to hold them down and carve a giant “T” into their thick fucking skulls before this is all over — although I imagine history has far worse in store for them. The “T” is for Traitor, of course, although that word will become synonymous with Trump in due time.

Wow, what a snooze-fest from all three of those (in)dentured fossils. I’ve seen livelier performances from Keanu Reeves in a sadness meme.

Let’s get this out of the way: 2018 blew horrid chunks of shame and embarrassment all across the dance floor — not unlike a certain drunk freshman I can recall over-imbibing at a Syracuse sorority party he had no business attending — certainly requiring decades of scouring to remove the stench.

Well, the party’s almost over, and it’s time we all started sobering up.

Oddly, I love Christmastime, which may be weird for an atheist, but not uncommon. I have plenty of atheist and agnostic friends that love Christmas too. I have fond memories of the season, which I am sure accounts for more than half my favor for the yearly celebration — I mean, what’s not to like about holiday music, gift-giving, mashed potatoes (with lots of gravy), friends, family, and the general merriment of yuletide cheer?

Unfortunately, not everyone made it. I know one little girl separated from her parents by Border Patrol that isn’t going to find any of the 2018 Year in the Rear review humorous. Which one, you ask? Well, the dead one, of course — the dead girl.

Happy holidays!