Deciphering the Codes
Language is a weird thing that humans are particularly gifted at (although I’ve read that dolphins and whales have communication styles that rival us). The words we use to describe the world become more complicated as we cease to accept the social contract of common understanding. “Toxic” traditionally has meant the presence of life-threatening poison. Leaded gasoline? Toxic. Easy. “Toxic masculinity,” on the other hand, gets a bit confusing. No life-threatening poison and no real connection to exclusively male behavior—females are every bit as capable of lying, cheating, dominating, and abusing others—so the addendum of the word is loaded with agenda and an attempt to control a specific narrative.
The toxicity lens likewise conjures up a sense of reality in which life is hellish landscape, other people are monsters until and unless proven otherwise, and institutional entities like business, government, and schools are either malign, incompetent, or both.
In the extreme, being overly vigilant (the psychiatric term in PTSD is hypervigilant) for threat creates mistrust, paranoia, and makes it impossible to have room not only for clear thinking, but also feelings of kindness and compassion for oneself and others. Kindness is seen as weakness, compassion as a way to needlessly open oneself up to be taken advantage of by predators.
Other words that seem to be coded from where I sit include:
Ambitious. It sounds good when someone uses the phrase to indicate a quality they desire in a partner but ambition to improve the world, make lots of money, or gain control of the California National Guard are all very different.
Safe. There’s a subtle difference between “safety to” and “safety from” and the gulf between being safe to speak or act versus being safe from others speech or actions get murky. Safety for one can suddenly become control of others for another.
Freedom. The word everyone claims like a five-year-old clutching the last Capri Sun. To some, it means health care and civil rights; to others, it’s the sacred right to open-carry at a Chuck E. Cheese. It’s a flag-waving Rorschach test with an AR-15 strapped to it.
Equality. Like a group project in high school: everybody wants it until someone else gets more credit. Are we talking about equal opportunity or equal outcome? Ask five people, get six answers and a TED Talk.
Diversity. To progressives, it’s essential. To conservatives, it’s an HR requirement with a DEI consultant charging $800 an hour. Diversity is the new kale—good for you in theory, force-fed in practice, and everyone’s pretending they liked it first.
Resistance. Was a noble term in WWII. Now it’s on mugs, tote bags, and Twitter bios of people who yell at staffers and think voting blue every four years counts as activism. “Resistance” without risk is just branding.
