by Joe Janes

The Official White House Moving Sale

Everything Must Go!!!

-       Christmas tree display transplanted from a nearby Lowe’s Christmas aisle

-       A bunker’s worth of disinfectant, hydroxychloroquine, and MyPillow pillows (creepy guy included)

-       Resolute Desk from the Oval Office – SOLD

-       Tiny temporary desk available January 20th

-       One “I Really Don’t Care, Do You?” coat worn once

Good for visiting caged migrant children

-       Unopened gift from Michelle Obama

-       Easter Bunny with Corrective Lenses costume once worn by DWTS Sean Spicer

-       The nation’s stockpile of PPE and defibrillators

-       Many COVID-19 press posters that make great souvenirs

Each comes with a complimentary Sharpie

-       Several opened umbrellas – as is

-       One Bible good for photo-ops

-       30 miles worth of fencing

Almost good for keep out illegal immigrants and protestors

-       Vice-President Mike Pence – loyal, plays well with other Christian pets (no homos)

-       Make an offer - Every sale over $5,000 gets a free presidential pardon