A Compendium of Thoughts from A Completely Unsolicited Place

A Compendium of Thoughts from A Completely Unsolicited Place

The fact that no one comes to your show is not a personal affront.

It feels that way.  It feels like you keep inviting your friends to come see your Tuesday night improv/standup/sketch/storytelling show every goddamn week. They still don't come and it hurts your feelings.  Get over that.  They don't come because A) they like you and if your show sucks, they'll have to lie to your face about it or B) they have shit to do that has nothing to do with you.

Your parents (at least most parents) were the ones who came to see you play the fucking sheep in the school play.  Not because they were dying to seeing a fucking bunch of newly verbal children perform a play written for morons but because they were your parents.  The rest of us are NOT your parents.

If your measure of success is set by comparison to other people, you will never feel successful.

Because there will always be someone who seems more successful than you.  Always.  Prettier, more money, thinner, gets more sex, has smarter kids, owns a cooler car, yadda yadda, yadda.  Once you start down that path, you're fucked.  So don't.

You will not be friends with your ex until you both have other people you're seeing.

Yes.  I understand.  YOU will take the high road with your breakup.  YOU will remain as loyal and loving to one another without all the drama.  Sounds good, yeah.  YOU won't.  The first time he brings a new girl to the bar you both frequent, the first time she gushes about a new guy she's seeing and how great he is - the friendship shellac chips away pretty fast to reveal the seething mound of resentment hidden just under the surface.

Once you're BOTH seeing someone else that you're not dating to spite your ex?  THEN you can be friends.

Your ideas are NOT unique.  Neither are mine or anyone else's...

Every book ever written since writing began used a finite alphabet.  For those of in the Western world, there are 26 letters.  All the words ever written in English used the same 26 letters as you do.  Further, every idea you have - whether you want to believe it or not - is sitting on top of a million other ideas just like it.  It is influenced in large and small ways to create that one idea you have.

The response to exclusion probably shouldn't be more exclusion.

Women feeling excluded from the storytelling scene?  Blacks feeling excluded from the theater scene?  Asian lesbians writers not feeling included?  Why not start a thing that excludes everyone but women or blacks or Asian lesbian writers?

Because MORE exclusion doesn't ever lead to more inclusion.  If diversity looks like a bunch of silos filled with exclusionary grain, rock on.  But that isn't really diversity - it's purposeful and intentional segregation.  If your goal is to exclude anyone, don't wave your diversity flag in my face because you're full of shit.

Take Care of the Cow You Have

Take Care of the Cow You Have

Do It Big or Stay in Bed