Police Commemorate Black History Month by Turning Off Body Cams
It shows we care about black people and their black feelings.
The Select Subcommittee Committee on the Weaponization of the Federal Government
The committee will be led by Rep. Jim Jordan from Ohio who knows a thing or two about suppressing voices.
I Spell Republican W-I-N-N-E-R Because I Don’t Know How To Spell
Not sure how I officially change from Dem to Republican other than to disable spelcheck.
Man Fights For Right to Marry Fictional Character
I’m open to different species, too. A big slug-like Hutt would be really interesting.
McCarthy Declares Victory, Claims Votes Rigged
McCarthy has asked representatives from Georgia to find him just 20 more votes.
Santos Apologizes-ish
I promise to make neighborhoods safer, lower taxes, and give everyone a pony.
F@#&! - It’s Christmas! Give Yourself the Gift of TSA Pre-Check In
For $80, the TSA will trust you to not blow up or hijack any commercial airplanes.
Senator Kyrsten Sinema Switches Species
Arizona deserves a representative that speaks for them and is gelatinous.
I the People - Donald Trump's New Constitution
We will now say “Merry Christmas” after the pledge of allegiance.