Aaron Rodgers believes that Big Bird isn’t real.

We, the true chosen-by-God followers of our chosen-by-God president are taking our chosen-by-God country back!

Tapeworms are the only thing holding Mitch McConnell together.

Conspiracy theories grow during times of institutional failure. If you can't have the life you were promised by your personal and flawed interpretation of the "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness" clause at least you can paint yourself as a hero struggling against a greater evil. You can be a knight or a superhero or a great revolutionary.

ANTIFA is using bags of soup to fight. We will now throw satchels of grilled cheese sandwiches.

Q. Like I.Q., without the intelligence.

I’m Dr. Joe Janes, MD. MD stands for Mediocre Duck. (quack)

I won’t tell you which sources you should trust. That’s up to you. But I will tell you that the ones you do trust should be sources that are trustworthy. Organizations and individuals that peddle rebuked reports, proven misinformation, and outright lies should not make your list. The internet may be part of the problem, but it’s also the cure. It is easier than ever to fact check and determine the credibility of your news. The thing is, you need to have a little credibility yourself.

Q says Tom Hanks is a pedo. Tom Hanks! That explains the sex scene in Big. And the sex scene that got cut in Turner and Hooch.