I penned this genuine, heartfelt love letter to the United Kingdom in the summer of 2016, quite possibly hours after the news of the Brexit vote broke. America followed suit a few months later, by instructing the world to "hold my beer."

It’s a free country, right? It’s a free country, right?
I can do whatever I want, be whatever I want,
say whatever I want, shoot whomever I want,
live wherever I want, die however I want.
It’s a free country, right? It’s a free country, right?