David Himmel David Himmel David Himmel David Himmel

Coronavirus Wishes and Genocidal Dreams

Wouldn’t that be something? If COVID-19 were a divine plague like the ten popularized by Cecil B. DeMille, we’d applaud the lord’s work. Take them! Take them, Lord! Snuff them out like you did with the Flood and those pesky Egyptian slave owners! Take the Mayor Goodmans and the President Trumps and the Governor Kemps and that woman hanging out of her car window like a white trash scrub. But, above all, dear Lord Almighty, take the Instagram influencers.

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Don Hall Don Hall Don Hall Don Hall

Turning Into Margaret Dumont

We were the Grouchos! We’re not the Margaret Dumonts — and we’re turning into the Margaret Dumonts on a lot of levels. That lets the misogynists and homophobes and racists seem like the rebels: “Well, we’re saying what people can’t say anymore.” We should be having way more fun with language and jokes and going too far. If our side starts doing that, then I think we’re fucked in terms of moving forward as a society. -- Patton Oswalt
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