…that all of the Oscar winners who effusively thanked Harvey Weinstein publicly for his contribution to their success will unlikely be visiting him prison. Wonder what they’ll do with the statues?

I’ve never met an incel, at least not a card-carrying one or one who admitted it, let alone a “He-Man Woman Hater.” I can’t think of a time when I was friends with a dude who thought it was anything but vile stupidity to cat-call a woman on the street or from a car. Granted, I quit theater years ago, don’t hang out much in comedy clubs and decided that the improv scene was far too much like high school so maybe I’m missing out on all the dripping toxicity of dudes who are doing everything they can to be seen as funny and cool in order to get laid, sometimes at any cost.

As we near the end of the year that history will unfortunately remember as an utter shitshow of misguided pride and crippling uncertainty, and in an effort to throw some end-of-the-year-list clickbait on Literate Ape to continue to expand readership, I’m going to present a list of both the good and the bad of 2017. Looking at the positive as well as the negative is something I'm trying to do more of. It keeps me swimming and in most cases, laughing. All I ask is that you do not mistake my positivity as anything remotely influenced by a life coach.

This is a reckoning. No question. A long overdue culling of powerful dick wavers and rapists. As it gains steam, the knee-jerk reaction to believe anyone leveling an accusation and desire to include any behavior counter to polite as harassment will need to subside and a bit of rationality will need to takes its place. Not right now—still too many fuck-os out there cowering in their boots, clammy hands gripping their vestigial limpidness, in need of purging—but soon.

" I don’t know why masturbating in front of someone is considered assault. I’m the only one getting groped.

I’m talking to the guys here.

At first glance, men speaking out on social media in solidarity to the most recent movement to appropriately criminalize, demonize and recognize the all-too-common occurrence of women being sexually harassed and assaulted seems like a great thing. However, I’m concerned that the best kind of solidarity men can offer right now is by shutting up so you don't crowd those women speaking up.

...that when piranha smell blood in the water, even paper cuts will doom you.

Seriously. 

On the heels of the not so surprising news that a mega-wealthy, older, white, Hollywood power broker turned out to be a serial sexual harasser there are now articles and statuses and tweets going around that other men are now afraid to meet with women because they might then be accused of the same. 

Calm down, already.