RNC WORKSHOP ON LEGITIMATE POLITICAL DISCOURSE
Legitimate Political Discourse - We’ll Show You How!
by Joe Janes
True Patriots!
Join us next weekend for our first ever workshop on
Legitimate Political Discourse!
As Americans, it is our duty to speak up when we disagree.
It’s called FREEDOM OF SPEECH!*
Actions speak louder than words and we at the RNC speak very loudly.
In this workshop,
we’ll cover such topics as…
RED, WHITE, AND BLUE MAKE-UP – Application, Touch-Up, and Removal from Office
WASTE NOT, WANT NOT – What and when to eat to best prepare for some meaty graffiti. Free burritos and coffee will be served. We’ll also cover what to do when nature just isn’t returning your calls. Hint: Rubbing your butt on things is a great way to own the libs.
SOVENIRS! – Some call it looting, we call it keepsakes. U.S. Soldiers took dinnerware with Nazi insignias from Adolph Hitler. You can certainly pocket Nancy Pelosi’s Garfield coffee mug or a podium.
BODY ARMOR – It’s a sad state of affairs that police will often respond to legitimate political violence with actual violence. We’ll cover the best types of body armor to absorb impact. Also, which ones are easy to conceal under buffalo skin or flags.
GALLOWS & NOOSES – Building solid functional gallows is key to getting your point across to stubborn democrats and republican vice-presidents. We have partnered with Home Depot to walk us through constructing sturdy gallows with properly tied nooses. They will also give attendees 30% off coupons for your next purchase of lumber and rope.
PERSUASIVE ARGUMENTS - An important part of discourse is presenting and supporting your point-of-view. We will cover how to shout opinions like, “The election was stolen!”, “Hilary’s emails!”, and “Scott Baio is right!”
…and much, much more!
We at the RNC believe that it is every Republican Americans right to fight for the overturning of an election they don’t agree with, regardless of how “verified” the results may be. New election laws are helpful, but still may not be enough if people vote.
The cost of the weekend is $500.
$600 if you wear a mask.
*After Sunday’s closing speech by Steve Bannon, you’re invited to stick around for our monthly book burning and weenie roast!
These two are not invited.