I Believe... [Legitimate Political Discourse, My Ass]

...that you gotta understand your strengths and weaknesses in order to bring value to the world. You will be asked to do all sorts of crap for money—choose that which utilizes those strengths and shores up those weaknesses.

...that justifying disruptive protests, riots, and looting as ‘legitimate political discourse’ cuts both ways and is horseshit regardless of which side claims it.

...that you can’t claim to be an environmental activist from a smartphone.

...that with Jackass Forever it isn't just the sight of Steve-O standing naked on a pedestal with a full swarm of bees attached to his dick and balls that's funny. It's the gang of morons surrounding him as he does this stunt, cheering him on and laughing their asses off while he's doing it that brings on the Who Gives a Fuck About the January 6th Riot Right Now? giggles that expand into a physical convulsion of pure laughter.

...that there aren’t many things less relevant in 2022 than the Oscars.