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Predictions About Trump’s CNN Town Hall

These flags are just asking for it.

by Joe Janes

CNN — Former President Donald Trump is set to participate in a CNN town hall on Wednesday in New Hampshire, where he’ll take questions as the frontrunner in the 2024 GOP presidential primary field.

The town hall comes as Trump faces an indictment in New York, investigations into the January 6, 2021, attack on the US Capitol and on the handling of classified documents at his Mar-a-Lago residence and potential charges from the investigation into efforts to overturn the 2020 election in Georgia. He has said he will continue his campaign regardless of any criminal charges he faces.

It also comes a day after a Manhattan federal jury found that Trump sexually abused E. Jean Carroll in 1996 and awarded her $5 million for battery and defamation. Trump called the verdict a “total disgrace.”

Here’s what we at Minutes think you can expect:

The two-hour town hall will last three and a half hours.

Trump will spend 60% of his time talking about legal witch hunts and 20% talking about what a crook Hunter Biden is. 20% will be an incomprehensible mix about cancerous windmills, big men crying and calling him “Sir”, open borders, and how the blacks like him.

The only sponsors will be MyPillow, Reverse Mortgages, and Bud Light.

Macho Man will blare and Trump will “floss” with a US flag while declaring his love for America and how democrats want to destroy it and take away his right to grind against the stars and stripes.

There will be no time for questions.

Possible Trump Quote of the Night:

“Lady Justice has a rape fantasy, okay. A lot of women do. Think about it. If Justice isn’t into the kinky stuff, then why the blindfold? She says she’s not into rough stuff, then why the sword? Why the handcuffs and cages? Why the sexy loose clothing? Lady Justice, like all women, sends mixed signals. They gaslight. It’s not fair to men. They change their stories to get attention and money.”

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