LITERATE APE

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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – QLess

by Joe Janes

QLess also makes fine neckwear.

 The Latest Drop from QLess

From an undisclosed location through an encrypted web service,

QLess releases its latest update to its QLess followers

-       President Trump has announced that he has not had mini strokes when no one in the media said that he had. This was clearly another message from our chosen leader. When the president uses the term “mini-strokes”, he is telling us that he wants us to do. “Mini” meaning “small” and “stroke” meaning to “row”, like a boat. He wants us to assemble and March is small rows, like two to four people across. That makes our marches longer and narrower and able to negotiate city streets and corners better. It also looks more professional.

-       Shadowy ANTIFA rabble-rousers are using bags of soup to fight police. To counter, we will now throw satchels of grilled cheese sandwiches.

-       ANTIFA is now gathering on planes and flying off to terrorize suburbs. You’ll know you are on a plane full of ANTIFA because they wear black, sit in middle seats, put their seats back all the way, and try to have conversations with you while you are wearing headphones. 

-       The number of deaths caused by COVID-19 has been grossly exaggerated to make President Trump look bad and lose the election. We are being lied to. People who “died” of COVID-19 had other diseases and conditions that are the true causes of their demise. By our QLess estimate, the number of actual COVID-19 deaths is five. Three of them were Chinese and the other two liked Chinese people.

-       39 children were rescued from the back of a semi-truck trailer last week in Georgia and the lamestream media will not report it. Why not? Because the children were being delivered to the Satan-worshiping pedophiles at CNN where their primary job would be grooming Wolf Blitzer’s beard. 

The Great Slackening and The Strum are coming.

Where we go dumb, we go all dumb.

Trump’s main strategy for fighting satan-worshipping pedophiles is to give them titty twisters. We do not question his wisdom.