LITERATE APE

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Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 26, 2020

• I’m heading to Kansas City to root for the Chief’s in Sunday’s Big Game. It’s a bandwagoning tradition some old pals from college and I have done for the last fifteen years. We go to the city of one of the teams playing in the Super Bowl and cheer with the locals. We’re optimistic the Chiefs will beat the 49ers. If they do, it’ll be a strange symbolic rewriting of history.

• Failure is necessary. It helps us learn and grow. It keeps us humble. But there exists one unredeemable failure, which is having untied shoelaces past the age of seven.

• Dropped my son off at preschool this morning. All the kids were caught up in a fray of discontent. Not sure what they were whining and crying and pushing and yelling about—it was such confusion. Just eight or so two-year-olds pissing and moaning over something totally unsolvable—because you can’t solve a dispute between brains that can’t or refuse to accept reason. My first thought was that it was kind of cute. Crazy little toddler monsters. But as I exited and headed off to work, it dawned on me: That preschool squabble was exactly like a thread I had read that morning on Facebook. Some argument about Bernie and how he’s destroying the Democratic Party and that if people don’t like the Democratic Party they should just start their own party… I mean, it was insane. Insane in the same way preschoolers are insane at 7:30 a.m.

• My wife no longer thinks I’m funny. But my son does. When he no longer thinks I’m funny it’ll be time to find a new family.

• The month of February will have me traveling quite a bit. I’ve always loved the idea of living life on the road. But I imagined it behind the wheel of big rig, not crammed into a flying metal dildo. But hey, silver lining—miles!

• When your wife no longer thinks you’re funny, it’s time to write some new material.