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The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Queen Daenerys Targaryen Strategy Meeting

As castles go, it’s very nice and the throne is more comfortable than certain iron ones.

By Joe Janes

Queen Daenerys Targaryen - Strategy Meeting

Dragonstone War Room

Sometime in the 15th Century after everyone was woken on this day without an alarm clock

In attendance: Daenerys Targaryen, Tyrion Lannister, Lord Varys, Grey Worm

Recorded by Bran Stark

 <<<SPOILER ALERT FOR ANYONE WHO HAS NOT SEEN SEASON 8, EPISODE 4>>>

Daenerys – Euron Greyjoy has killed my dragon Rhaegal.

Tyrion – He also destroyed our fleet and killed many of the unsullied and what was left of the Dothraki.

Grey Worm – He kidnapped Missandei and Cersei killed her.

Daenerys – Dragons are much more difficult to replace. How are we going to defeat Cersei?

Lord Varys – Well, we could not try to?

Daenerys – She sits on a throne that does not belong to her.

Lord Varys – We’ve had worse leaders. Your father, for example, wanted to Make Westeros Great Again. Cersei just hates foreigners, like yourself.

Tyrion – Cersei is a horrible human being, but she is also holding down King’s Landing with a formidable army and fleet. She also seems to have invented the assembly line and has a factory churning out big guns that shoot big spears that kill dragons and destroy ships. 

Daenerys – Are you saying I should end my pursuit of what is rightfully mine?

Lord Varys – Postpone it. She has us out manned and out armed. You have a very nice castle here. Right along the sea. Great view. The dragon you have left…Pete?

Tyrion - Puff.

Daenerys – Drogon.

Lord Varys – Drogon can live out his life in peace here. 

Daenerys – Cersei wants to rule all seven kingdoms of Westeros. 

Tyrion – So, we’ll have to pay her taxes. That’s how governments work. She doesn’t care. She doesn’t want to live any place other than King’s Landing. 

Daenerys – Can we get some dirt on her? Maybe we can turn her people against her.

Lord Varys – We have dirt on her. Everyone knows about her history of incestual liaisons with her brother. They don’t care. She got rid of the horrible Sparrows and, as far as her people know, she’s protecting them from an evil dragon attack. 

Daenerys – Am I to just lay low and wait for her to die?

Tyrion – You are much younger than she is. Who knows what’s going on inside that castle? Someone may try to assassinate her. 

Daenerys- Then I can take her throne!

Lord Varys – Probably. I mean, Euron Greyjoy might try to take it, but Cersei has probably told The Mountain to take him out first if anything should happen to her. She hates him and is only using him for his fleet and to make people think her unborn child isn’t from her brother.

Daenerys - Her child might try to claim the throne.

Tyrion – She is with child, but at her age…? Just saying. We don’t know what’s going to pop out of that canal. Plus, her track record with children. Not a formidable threat at this point. 

Daenerys- So, we should just chill out. What about Jon?

Lord Varys – We’re still calling him that? He’ll probably want to stay at Winterfell, but it’s a quick dragon ride away. You can visit your nephew/lover all you like. 

Daenerys – He might try to take the throne without me.

Tyrion – Jon Snow doesn’t want to be in charge. He can’ t even properly take care of a pet dire wolf. 

(Several Ravens fly into the room from the sea and drop small packages onto the table.)

Grey Worm – Our Starbucks order is here.

Darnerys – It’s cold again. 

Lord Varys explains how aunts and nephews getting it on is more acceptable than brothers and sisters.