LITERATE APE

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Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of July 8, 2018

By David Himmel

• I’m not involved anymore, and have no interest in being involved, but the synagogue I grew up in is bound to fold in on itself sooner than later. When it does, I hope that the last song sung won’t be the Aleinu but REM’s Losing My Religion.

• Selling books always feels really, really good. (Speaking of… Buy Hall’s latest. It’s good.)

• If you take seriously anything FOX News or Huffington Post report, you have also probably bought a time share.

• Sometimes a fart deserves a flush.

• Using contact lenses has become an almost unbearable burden for me. I dread putting them in the same way I dread having to go to a funeral. My level of disdain for my contact lenses is either because my life is otherwise too wonderful or I’m just that goddamn miserable. If it’s the latter, Lasik may be the one thing I need if I’m ever going to know what true happiness is.

• The worst drivers in Chicago are either headed out to the northwest suburbs or coming from them.