David has some issues with the gentrification of Hanukkah as secular Jews keep finding ways to make it as big of a deal as Christmas. He also has a big issue with March On’s newest fundraising idea, the “Impeach Boutique” which takes the Chimps in Charge down a gravel road peppered with opportunists taking advantage of 9/11, the genius of John Waters, and the erroneous concept of being on “the right side of history.”

Plus, six things to do this week to keep your soul from shriveling like a drying dog turd on a lawn from underuse.

In a Seinfeldian discussion (“What’s the deal with Black Friday?”) the gorilla your dreams get into the weeds of the question of what discounted thing would either elbow jack an old woman for in a Walmart? Also on deck is the question of what we all did before the internet, that science proves men live longer if they stare at boobs, how naked twins n a shopping cart do ‘sexy stuff,’ and David’s trials with Prince Harry’s fake remote control.

As always, six items of homework for you lost and sad souls to engage in following your turkey-induced coma.

OK. Maybe it was a Blue Wave. What does that mean? The gentlemen of ape-itude also cover the legacy of Stan Lee as well as the idea that culture is a costume rather than the single defining aspect of society.

Are you devoting 45 hours a day on Faceborg? Do you spend the other six hours a day binge-drinking and working in your cubicle? Has porn made your genitals dry and used up? DH (squared) have six things to do that will help fulfill at least a few hours of your week.

Was it a Blue Wave and will Pelosi become our Beohner? Is Rudy a dick? How did Daredevil Season 3 hold up? Why do the Chimps in Charge hate NaNoWriMo so much?

Yes, six things to do this week to justify your existence and prevent you from becoming a horrifying misanthrope peeing in jars and mumbling about fluoride in the water.

Some episodes, the Chimps In Charge are on the same page. This is not one of them. Crawling down the rabbit hole to discuss trauma, sexual assault, whether Donald Trump’s rhetoric is responsible for the rise of alt Right violence and Thanksgiving foods, this is like CrossFire if CrossFire had been comprised of two profane idiots yelling at each other.

The stuffing inside the ApeCast turkey, stuffed right up it’s ass with love, is a list of six things to watch, read, or do this week because we know your life is a sad, cubicle-rat existence devoted to handing over your life-force for health benefits and donuts on Friday.

With topics that include Trump’s recent attempt to rollback civil rights for transgender citizens, the scariest movies to watch this week, encounters with the strident Left and Right, and an in-depth discussion of writing styles, this is one podcast you should only miss if you’re out having some bacon!

As always, the gentle-apes offer up six things to do, watch, listen to, or read in order to demonstrate that your addiction to Faceborg and Hot Pockets hasn’t caused you to devolve into a meaningless sack of ennui.

CORRECTION: It’s joejanes.net not .com. And it starts with a www.

This week’s episode is all about pop culture, torture, power ballads, complicity in the horrors of modern capitalism, and Better Call Saul. The gentlemen behind the ApeCast had a ton of things to parse and not enough beer or cigarettes to keep it all in check.

Also, six things to do this week to acknowledge you aren’t simply a plant growing in your grandmother’s basement.

David confesses that he sucks at buying his wife gifts. The chimps talk about managing expectations, doing what you love, The Secret, and why anyone would ever write and publish a book.

Plus the six things you should do this week to better yourselves because, Christ, you really need some work, fam.

DH and DH get into the success or failure of comedy in the Age of Trump, the nature of evil, and whether or not Prince Harry will have helicopter parents. Plus six items for you to attempt during the week to keep you from being triggered by your addictive devotion to social media.

Holy Confessional Nonsense, Batman! David wants to get rid of his wife’s car, Don’s wife decorates the home far better than he does, David gives us his wisdom about “Titties,” and Don is quite pissed off about the Russian manspreading activist.

And because you need something other than the horrors of Washington for at least a few hours, six things the boys recommend you occupy your time with before you take a bottle of bleach and start spraying on people’s nuts.

On the eve of Yom Kippur, David tells us about he and brother’s ritual involving baseball , fasting, and a dog bowl, Don shares his lesson from the Special Olympics, and the opportunity for personal growth, the difference between a babysitter and a nanny, and the fact that Fortnite is causing divorces all come up.

Also, the chimps throw you six things to do to keep your otherwise meaningless days filled with distraction.

David’s anniversary was September 10; Don’s was September 12. With means the chimps had no time to record a podcast this week. SOOOO…this is a bit of archival stuff Don found in the ApeCast Dump Bin. A bit of conversation about the responsibility of writing online, some stuff about rage and the power of change.

Idiots burning their shoes, meta-pornography, police brutality, equity politics, and the ability to talk to the most strident of our population. It was an interesting news week and the Apes certainly had things to yammer about.

Plus six things to consume that will hopefully give you enough things to talk about at work that it hides the fact that you spend most of your time playing FortNite and taking pictures of your food.

This episode occurs at a point when both monkeys needed some Ritalin or something as they both jump from topic to topic in a rambling mess of conversation. From why neither have seen Crazy Rich Asians to why Don doesn’t wear white jeans, to the touchy history of the phrase “lawn jockeys” to the heroism (or lack thereof) of John McCain, this ride is all over the place!

Plus six things to do (and another six to avoid) to give your otherwise pathetic lives just a smidge more potency.

In a departure from the monkeys parsing out the heavy issues of the day, David and Don talk about Stephen King adaptations for film that either were excellent or crap. 

And, as always, six things to do for the week.

Do bad habits indicate you’re smarter than the rest of us or just that you’re a sloppy, late, fantasy who suffers from poor time management skills? As the #MeToo movement is starting to find equilibrium with Arizona Ansari and Chris Hardwick recovering from accusations of harassment and abuse, is it too soon or just right?

Plus six things to do this week that do not involve grabbing someone’s pud or biting your nails.

Don reads an article about The Nation redacting and apologizing for a poem they printed which starts out a rambling conversation centered on whether offense is pain, whether Hamilton is problematic, and how Mike Tyson’s 90’s video game was incredibly diverse.

Plus six things for you to do because the screen has boot your brain and you seem to need two assholes in Chicago to spice up your vapid life.

Today, David and Don tackle the shadow of anxiety recently defined as Trump Anxiety Syndrome. Dancing around the idea that therapy is either necessary (David) or quackery (Don) both agree that allowing a jackass in the White House cause you to cower in fear or depression is a completely avoidable thing.

And, because your life is filled with so much time to stare at your screen and fill your craven heart with dread due to the non-stop headlines about our Commander-in-Quife, the guys suggest six things more productive.

It's our 40th episode! Holy Shit! Today we are joined by our producer Dana Jerman and we go deep into an hour-long discussion about the new Hannah Gadsby Netflix special "Nanette."

And, as always, a bit of homework for you to leap into this week.

Whether shopping for sex, a babysitter (uhm...nanny), or setting up crazy friends with one another to watch the fireworks, the GentleApes of the ApeCast are still always scheming to make a buck.

Plus a few things to do before we all hafta mimic Patrick Swayze in "Red Dawn" because, motherfucker, the Russians are on their way to take over that new Target on Division!