All in Chris Churchill

If you are averse to religious discussions, I warn you now, “Bible Verses Lie Ahead.” Not for the reason you usually see them thrown around, though. I’m not going to judge you here. In fact, being a fan of the Bible for what I see it to be, I strongly value the statement, “Judge not, lest ye be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” Jesus (if that is Your real name...) said that in the King James Version of the Bible, Book of Matthew, Chapter 7, verse 2. There are countless translations, of course, take your pick.

Why Don't You Recognize Your Own Story, Evangelicals?

I know this digital magazine isn’t generally the forum for anything bordering on religion but I have found I have quite the talent for belaboring a metaphor. Allow me to do that several times more in this piece for the purpose of making a very large point. The point being, “When Did You Stop Believing Your Own Story, Evangelicals?” And “When don’t you recognize your own Beast?”

Whataboutism's For Kids!

There seem to be a lot of insurmountable differences between certain factions and, of course, not all differences can be worked out. That’s depressing sometimes. However, a lot fewer differences can be worked out by encouraging as many as will accept and understand the idea that absolutism and Whataboutism aren’t the only ways to understand morality.

Incredulity as Default Emotion

I’ve noticed a real problem in society these days. And it’s been a long time in its full manifestation but it’s here. The default emotion for humans walking amongst other humans in public spaces has become incredulity. Sure it’s annoying, but it’s also really problematic. 

And Sometimes I Drive A Trolley

I do a lot of stuff. I write for this magazine. I teach improv, film, documentary and theater to kids. I teach test prep to teens. I teach communication and public speaking courses to college freshmen. But when it comes to the subject of me, the thing that seems to get most people’s attention, is my oldest stream of income. I drive a trolley and give tours. I have for over 20 years.

Anatomy Of A Bad Haircut

I’m not just telling you about his hair to feel superior. There, but for the grace of God and the lack of an intelligent and stylish woman in my life, go I. I’m no GQ model myself by the way. I don’t even have all my testicles. I promise I’m not punching down. 

America is a Teenager

The thing about these “new” societies is that they are “young” societies. Not children, necessarily. Children are fun and challenging but most people are cool with kids. It’s when these societies become “teenagers” that you have to watch them. When a teenager has too much control of a room full of adults, then you have a problem.

America is that teenager.

Whatever Happened To That Bald Eagle Metaphor?

First of all, I didn’t choose the bald eagle as a symbol for America. Some other blowhard with a quill pen did that. Famously, Ben Franklin thought that the turkey would be a better metaphor. In a letter to his daughter Sarah, in 1784, he explained how he saw the bald eagle as a coward and a thief. He thought the turkey was braver and more honest. So now we have to unpack even more metaphors.

New Political Mascots That Fit the Current Parties

What the hell does an elephant or a mule have to do with either of these parties today? Are elephants dogmatic, rich and selfish? Are mules empathic, secular and over-educated? Not that I know of. Where’s Sir David Attenborough when you need him?

And of course, the above attributes aren’t all that make up the two parties. I suggest, based on a series of less tangible traits, that we find new mascots. I hereby nominate, to represent the Republicans, the bonobo. And to represent the Democrats, the chihuahua. 

Life IS a Simulation — Here's How to Win!

"Life IS a simulation. Let’s just roll with that. Being a psych patient myself with psychotic episodes in my past but in treatment and doing well, I have developed an odd relationship with the concept of reality. Every once in a while, I pop out of my self and my context in the world, and I see the bigger picture. It makes life exciting for me and for others. It also makes life with me annoying and troubling sometimes.