The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Beautiful Clean Coal!
New Product Development Meeting
Trump Tower, New York City
In Attendance – Donald Trump, Jr., Eric Trump, Ivanka Trump,
Wednesday, January 31, 2018 – 10:00am
Donald, Jr. – All right. Father brilliantly plugged our latest industry last night in his State of the Union address. Time to get our brand, Trump Coal, out there. What are your product ideas?
Head Minion - Products in development!
Minion #1 - Trump Coal-Powered motorcycles – Put Trump Coal Between Your Legs!
Minion #2 - Trump Coal-Powered Rocket Ships – We’ll put Elon Musk out of business!
Minion #3 (aka Steamy, former porn star) - Trump Coal-Powered Personal Massagers! Let Us Rub You the Oh So Wrong Way!
Minion #4 - Trump Coal! – Nothing makes a Trump Steak taste better than being cooked over Trump Coal – You’re Going to Love These Manly Lumps! Free ketchup with every order.
Minion #5 - Trump Coal-Powered Golf Carts – Get A-Hole In One On The Course!
Minion #6 - Win the War on Coal and Christmas! – You’ll Love Getting Trump Coal in your Stocking
Minion #7 - All our new hotels and golf courses will use coal for heat!
Minion #8 - Trump Coal-Powered Tanks and Aircraft Carriers! Mo' War, Mo' Money!
Eric - Combining coal and guns? My dad will quiver. I'm quivering. We should all be quivering right now.
Ivanka - Is there any way we can get our coal from China? It’s much cheaper.