I Believe… [Christmas Day 2017]

I Believe… [Christmas Day 2017]

…that the most Christian thing to do on Christmas Day is to volunteer for a Food Bank. Feeding those who are hungry and without is an act that the baby in the manger would approve.

…that today is the day that most exemplifies the dichotomy of being American: a belief in good will toward one another vs. an unyielding adherence to commerce and materialism. "I love you, Mom. Now where is my fucking X-Box and dungerees?!"

 There are at least 45,000 calories in this shit per glass. Just looking at it increased your mass by five pounds...

There are at least 45,000 calories in this shit per glass. Just looking at it increased your mass by five pounds...

…that it's a good thing Egg Nog is a Christmas tradition or I'd gain all 80 pounds back in a fucking week.

…that the reason Christmas comes in the beginning of winter is that it is the perfect time to celebrate good things with people surrounding us because everything around us is cold and dead.

…that Christmas makes me realize how fragile we all are and how brilliantly heroic it is to simply survive on a ball of rock hurtling through space. We thrive in spite of our natures and the yin-yang of the best and worst parts of us is what makes humanity remarkable.

Bag or Baby: Confirming My Excitement

Bag or Baby: Confirming My Excitement

A Leaked Private E-mail Correspondence Between Santa Claus and Jesus Christ

A Leaked Private E-mail Correspondence Between Santa Claus and Jesus Christ