Notes from the Post-it Wall – Week of June 4, 2017

 By David Himmel

• All this talk about Wonder Woman being the first major motion picture featuring a female superhero… Uh, hello, sheeple! Is Barb Wire not major enough for you?

• I can’t decide if Reality Winner is a good guy or a bad guy. I know for certain that her name has to be the result of a lost bet.

• Lactose-free ice cream is an amazing thing for people like me who are lactose intolerant (read Ashkenazi Jews, those suffering from Crohn’s or weaklings). But lactose-free ice cream makers do not offer enough flavor options. Hey, Breyers, if you’ve figured out how to remove the lactose from vanilla and chocolate, then surely you can figure out how to stuff some cookie dough or mint and chocolate chips into it. I finally understand what it feels like to be marginalized.

• The only thing I dislike more than a hateful conservative is a hateful liberal. I feel that they should know better.

• I save pennies (read Ashkenazi Jew). They add up and this will help, in a small way, to pay for my kids’ elite private elementary school. So when I pay for something in cash and my change is one cent or two cents or three cents, yeah, I want my change. Don’t assume that I don’t care about those few pennies. I’m trying to plan for my future here, 7–11 clerk!

• I had a really long conversation about beastiality the other day. I'm still shaken by it. As such, I’m finding it strange watching my dog take a crap.