I Believe… [Hurricanes Give CNN Staffers Boners]
…that nothing demands my respect more than someone doing a thankless job with enthusiasm and competence.
...that, while I think Kavanaugh is a shill handpicked by a dickhead and a horrible choice for SCOTUS, dredging up what he did in high school in the final hours to discredit him feels a bit like Franken and the “grope/not grope” photo.
...that, in the spirit of the melting pot ideal, as America shifts in demographics, I will now finally learn to speak Spanish.
...that I believe Soon Yi. Urhm... I believe Dylan? Oh shit. In the Age of #MeToo and the insistence that I believe all women, I don’t know who to believe!
…that as horrifying as the latest hurricane is/was, all I can see in my mind’s eye is CNN programmers furiously masturbating (with consent from the female staffers, of course) as the ratings go higher and higher because nothing sells ads more than American disasters.