American Shithole #23 — Burn in Hell, Motherfucker (Adios, John McCain)

American Shithole #23 — Burn in Hell, Motherfucker (Adios, John McCain)

By Eric Wilson

“You’ve been off the grid for two months after collapsing from stress; are you really going to come back now and revisit a languishing column, just to trash a dead war hero?”

It seems so, yes.

"OK, seems like suicide though."

I also thought I would alleviate any concerns regarding my mental health by talking to myself throughout this piece.

Anyway, it's not as if we have a long-standing tradition as a species regarding the expression of ill-will toward the deceased...

De mortuis nihil nisi bonum

… er, right; so I suppose with all the adoration and reverence for this war-decorated turd in the air, I am fairly certain my harshness regarding his fucking abysmal voting record (which is the bulk of what should matter when considering his service to this country) will be met with contempt?

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Perhaps, but the truth remains — he was a shit-biscuit, like all fucking conservatives. The only question is: How much shit was in his biscuit?

Well, let’s take a look at his voting record, shall we? The folks at PoliticsThatWork have been kind enough to compile all manner of data on our government officials and representatives, including the voting history of our senators, including Sen. John McCain.

McCain Voting Record Banner.JPG

I’ve chosen three related areas to focus on, although I believe a completely random selection from this list would net the same conclusion. For a more in-depth look at their data collection and weighting, check out their methodology page.

1.      Poverty Amelioration: 0% Support.

What to focus on when his focus on keeping rich people rich is so clearly defined?

McCain’s Nay on the amendment to establish pre-kindergarten programs for low-income families (2015 roll call s247) seems particularly cruel amidst a sea of cruelty.

McCain Voting Record on Poverty Amelioration.JPG

2.      A Robust Safety Net: 5.3% Support.

The thing to take away here seems to be that if the legislation had anything to do with social security benefits, Medicare or Medicaid, the McCain position was consistent.

“If you are sick or disabled in America and you are poor, fuck you.”

McCain Votng Record on A Robust Safety Net.JPG

3.      Public Health: 16.3% Support.

With a fair amount of crossover from the previous category, McCain has remained a hard-line conservative with zero empathy for sick Americans that struggle with access to affordable healthcare.

He has been particularly harsh to efforts offering protections for vulnerable minority groups.

McCain Votng Record on Public Health.JPG

For further evidence I encourage you to check out the rest of his legislative stances. Go ahead; open up McCain’s voting record on environmental protection. I dare, ya. I double-dog dare ya. Look at that epic-level corporate-whoring!

Overall — as his voting clearly demonstrates — McCain was an overstuffed shit-biscuit for pretty much every American that wasn’t rich and white.

Paints quite a different picture, just looking at the recorded facts.

“But, but, but…”

No buts — he was an enemy of the motherfucking people.

“But, he saved healthcare!”

Yeah, he saved healthcare — only after trying to kill it for years, and only after considering how much of a blow it would be to his arch-nemesis Trump if he were able to torpedo the vote to repeal Obamacare at the very last second. I imagine it was also a last-ditch effort to cement his Maverick legacy.

So, yeah, thanks, John. Thanks for staving off the inevitable — maybe now some of us will die in four years, instead of two.

Eternal damnation seems a light sentence for the rest of your dinosaur beliefs put to action; all your fucking saber-rattling, your warmongering — and all of your billionaire-servicing corporate-whoring, your incessant toeing of nearly every motherfucking republican party-line. Your repeatedly misogynistic, anti-LGBTQ, anti-social progress stances, and support for almost every fucking conservative front-line agenda.

Until Trump mocked you into one vote of ancillary decency.

Now everyone wants to paint you up a spirited folk hero. “Son, have I ever told you the story of the wandering Maverick Fuckface of Washington D.C.?”

Maverick, my ass. You were a fucking Neanderthal; a flag-waving imbecile with Corporate America’s dick so far down your throat, I’m surprised you never shit stock portfolios.  

Your decades-long inane conservative rhetoric and dog-whistling across the aisles didn’t make you out to be a renegade; it made you out to be a dick. Blowing up a nation of terrified brown people, and then repeatedly shitting all over the poor and disenfranchised of your own country — that is your legacy.

You were another cog in the late-stage-capitalist slave-machine. You were a voice of the few.

Good fucking riddance.

At least I don’t feel so alone any longer in my disapproval; the fine folks at DemocracyNow! recently weighed in on McCain, albeit with a gentler touch.

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What pisses me off most about McCain’s death is how many fucking liberals couldn’t fall over themselves fast enough to lionize this absolute shit of a public servant.

The same fucking liberals calling out for “restraint” from progressives.

The same elites that can’t fucking wait to forgive Trump supporters — not Trump voters mind you, anyone can make a mistake — but his insane base that would just as soon burn the world to the motherfucking ground before entertaining even a moment of self-realization.

“Don’t disparage noble McCain,” the rich, white, liberals who have suffered fuck-all from the evils of the republican party insist (while the rest of us have been through various degrees of actual hell). They just want everyone to get back to getting along, so they can get back to their fucking privilege.

I may be a poor, white, disabled, male, Scandinavian-grade uber-progressive — and I am very aware of the privilege I have experienced in America — but I am not sucking one single republican dick (alive or dead) to get one lick of status-quo back; or to lay any groundwork for welcoming stray Trump supporters back into the fold.

Fuck privilege, fuck inequality, fuck the Trump base, fuck all greed-related ideology, and fuck dead John McCain. I may angrily wish there were a hell for him to burn in, but fortunately for him I’m an atheist, so the nothingness of the beyond will have to suffice.

“Don’t you have anything nice to say about him at all?”

Absolutely. He was one of the very best republicans we had.

 

Required Watching: “Bobby Fischer Against The World” (2011)

Required Watching: “Bobby Fischer Against The World” (2011)

The Victory of Medusa: Correcting the Record

The Victory of Medusa: Correcting the Record