Reviews Of Gay Daddy Porn For Father's Day

Reviews Of Gay Daddy Porn For Father's Day

By Brian Sweeney

It's Father's Day, so I figured what better way to celebrate than by reviewing random gay daddy porn. I am a straight guy, so I am unfamiliar with gay porn and exactly what the set ups are. In straight porn, where there's a daddy and stepdaughter scene (they always make sure to establish they are definitely not related by blood) it's usually a set up like the stepfather catches his barely legal stepdaughter smoking weed or something and she offers sex and taking a load on her face in exchange for him not telling her mother. She also wears knee socks and is in pigtails so that we, the audience, know she is young. But, I don't know how these scenes work in gay male porn. I guess I'll find out.

I've included the links to the videos so you can watch along with me at home!

I went to pornhub.com and searched "gay daddy porn" and the first thing that came up for me was a video titled simply "Bears hot-26." 

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph587aea3537d0b

daddyyyyyy

We start right in on a big hairy chubby bearded guy boning a shiny bald-headed dude. They both appear to be in their late-30s. The big hairy bearded guy says to the bald dude “You’re a good boy. You’re papa’s good boy.” Since the scene begins straight with the sex, I don’t know if the narrative is that this is his son or stepson, but they seem to be roughly the same age. I’m not sure what the gay porn equivalent of pigtails is, but I definitely don’t think it’s a shiny bald head.

The big hairy guy has a very hairy back and he seems to be fully embracing that fact. As a man with back hair, I feel deep shame about it, always shaving the back of my neck so that no hair is sticking out of the collar of my shirt. I often will spend two hours or more completely shaving my entire back and I never have my shirt off because I am so ashamed of the back hair. I remember when I was a kid seeing Cindy Crawford hosting an episode of MTV's House Of Style. She was in Hawaii and standing in a line with a bunch of dudes who were wearing only grass skirts, and she whispered to the camera, "the guy in front of me has a hairy back." This is burned into my brain. Cindy Crawford, objectively the most beautiful creature on the planet at that point, told me loud and clear how gross it is to have a hairy back. This big dude doesn't seem to give a fuck about early '90s Cindy Crawford. He wears his back hair proudly, and for that I salute him.

I don't know the name of either of these guys in this scene. The pornstars listed on pornhub are Daddy Cream, Daddy Muggs, Daddy Pic and Rick Thomas. However, I have checked the comments and have found out that my new back hair hero is named Will Angell.

Here's a sample comment on this video:

"That top is my dream. So manly, active, and dominant. I love the bottoms expression when he was being fucked missionary style. That's the face when you know you have a real man in your man hole."

So it's good to know that my man Will Angell is making people happy.

The end of the video has Mr. Angell banging the dude from behind and the dude asking Will Angell, "I'm a good boy? I'm a good boy?" and Will Angell replies, in between thrusts, "Yes." Regardless of gender or sexuality, we all just want to be told we are good. It's something that every human being craves. Especially on a day like Father's Day. 

Then the video just ends. So, on to the next one, I guess.

dean awake

This next one is called "Loving The Coach" and it has a narrative framing device!

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=388769281

Evan is young barely legal boy who has been spending a lot of time with Coach Hughes. He's at Coach Hughes' house having dinner. Coach Hughes looks a lot like Drake.

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Evan is thinking of living on campus next semester but says he feels weird about the lack of privacy. This makes Coach Drake ask if he is a serial killer. Evan says he is not a serial killer. Then Evan adds, "Not yet, anyway." Coach Drake doesn't seem to be concerned about Evan saying that he may soon become a serial killer. They just continue eating. So far, this dialogue is lacking and Coach Drake hasn't dropped any hot verses.

After what seems like an eternity, Evan and Coach Drake start making out. It's weird because before they start making out, there's just terrible dialogue and acting (even for porn, the acting is bad) and the two actors have no chemistry. Coach Drake has charisma, but Evan, I'm sorry man. Maybe you've done better work somewhere. 

Evan and Coach Drake kiss at the dinner table, then move into the bedroom and kiss some more. They kiss for literally five minutes straight without anything else. A dick doesn't even get into a mouth until the 9:40 mark! As R.E.M. drummer Bill Berry always said, "Get to the chorus!" 

The odd thing about this scene is that the two actors don't seem to have any chemistry. Which is weird, because it's a porn. All the chemistry you need is to have something go into something else and then shoot ropes everywhere and you're done. Maybe it's the tone the director is using or maybe I'm missing something as a straight guy. The camera angles are all pretty bad. The choices that were made for the angles in this are baffling. I will say that Coach Drake really eats the hell out of Evan's ass though.

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Coach Drake fucks Evan's bootyhole while wearing a condom, which is what we all love to see in our porn: condom use. Nothing gets us hotter. Evan jerks himself off on his belly while Coach Drake pounds away, then Coach Drake pulls out, takes the condom off and cums on Evan's dick. They then kiss and it ends. No daddy talk or anything. In fact, they barely spoke after Evan made his future as a serial killer known.

People in the PornHub comments liked it. Here's a sample:

"OMG, the chemistry, the passion, the heat! I want all that, too! I want a man to take my hole like that, not just fucking me, but making love with me and to me!"

So hey, maybe it's actually a good scene. Maybe Coach Drake floats your boat, but give me Will Angell any day.

I decided to ask a gay male friend of mine for a recommendation of a gay daddy porn I should watch. He told me to check out the site familydick.com. He also asked that I not reveal who he is. And I said “Don’t worry David Himmel, you have my word that I will not give up your identity. After all, you are a new father with a loving wife who doesn’t suspect that you actually are a practitioner of the love that dare not speak its name with dirty punks you find hanging out under viaducts." David Himmel thanked me and went off to score some hot young male flesh under the viaducts in the seedier district of town, where human life and morality are both viewed as being as worthless as a crumpled up gum wrapper. 

I went to FamilyDicks.com and randomly chose a clip from "Giving It To My Old Man – Back for More."

http://familydicks.com/giving-it-to-my-old-man-back-for-more/

 You won't believe what happens next!

You won't believe what happens next!

The scene starts with the stepfather splayed out on a couch, reading a newspaper and wearing the classic white male outfit of a short-sleeve flannel shirt and jeans. He looks like a younger Jean Reno. 

The stepson says "Mom just left, let's do it." Jean Reno says he doesn't want to because even though he enjoys his stolen sexual moments with his stepson, he complains "I'm always the one servicing you." The stepson pleads that he's "so horny," but Jean Reno says maybe a little kiss would help. Then he tells him to kiss him like he kisses his girlfriend. This works, and Jean Reno is now fully onboard with fucking his wife's son while she is out of the house. Then for the next six minutes they just kiss each other. They get fully nude and just keep kissing. Then the clip ends. 

The last clip I watched was from the same FamilyDick.com series with Jean Reno and his son. This one was titled "Giving It To My Old Man – Yard Work"

http://familydicks.com/giving-it-to-my-old-man-yard-work/

The son is eating cereal and Jean Reno comes in and asks what he has going on that day. The son is going to hang out with his friends, but Jean Reno tells him he needs help in the yard and that he can hang out with his friends tomorrow. Jean Reno addresses the son as "son" and the son calls Jean Reno "Pops," so they may actually be blood-related in this one. 

We cut to the yard where the son is using a lawnmower and Jean Reno is using a weed wacker. Jean Reno admits that he's looking at his son and not paying attention to his lawn maintenance, because his son is "looking good" and "turning into a nice young man." His son says, "What are you, tryin' to touch or something?" Jean Reno then goes "Whaaaaaaaaaaaa?" The son won't let it go and approaches Jean Reno and asks, "What are you, trying to touch my body?" Jean Reno replies "Sure," but then stops and checks to make sure mom isn't home. The son assures Jean Reno that mom is out for the day. Jean Reno then just starts quietly pawing his son's chest and shoulders for a good two minutes.

The son tells Jean Reno that if he lets him hang out with his friends instead of mowing the lawn, he will let his own father suck his cock. Jean Reno agrees and starts blowing his son. This goes on a few minutes, and then they go up against a tree and the son begins eating Jean Reno's ass. They are definitely not being discreet about this depraved incestual act, as any neighbor could easily see this. Also, the lawn looks like shit. It's a terrible looking lawn. I wonder how much lawn maintenance is going on and how much is just eating Jean Reno's ass. I'm sure the mom sees how bad the grass looks and wonders what the hell her husband and son are doing all day. She probably says "We should call a professional. Our grass is just coming in splotchy. There's so much dirt and crabgrass." And Jean Reno's like, "No, no, no. I'll just try harder out there with our son. The most important part is you never, ever look outside into the yard while our son and I are out there maintaining our lush, healthy lawn."

jeanreno

The scene moves from the son eating his dad's ass to just full-on ass fucking his dad. The son then lays down and Jean Reno slides up and down on his son's dong while jerking himself off and saying "Oh yeah." There is no real dialogue, just grunts and the occasional "Oh yeah" Jean Reno jerks a load out, says "Oh yeah", and with his son deep in his butthole, the clip ends. 


I guess in the end, what we can take away from this is that it's not necessarily what we specifically do in the time we spend with our father figures, but rather, the fact that we spend time with our father figures. The experience of blowing your father up against a tree in your own backyard may become hazy or forgotten as time goes on, but the feeling and connection between the two of you will always be there. Like trees, father figures come in all different types: there are biological fathers, stepfathers, teachers, coaches, TV sitcom dads you watch growing up, even Superman. We all have complicated relationships with our father figures, because we are all messy humans. This is everyone's first time living and even if you are doing everything the best you can, you will end up at times screwing up things and hurting others. As Ram Dass says,

"When you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You appreciate it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree. The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying 'You’re too this, or I’m too this.' That judging mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are." 

As we age, we realize that our father figures are as flawed as we are. We can recognize this and view it through love, which is always the best way to view things. When you go outside and breathe in a nice breath of warm, spring air, you love the air. The air could give you a sore throat or pneumonia or any number of things that could hurt us with it's impurities, but in that moment, you and the air have met in a way that you are accepting as love, and you are basing everything on the moment that exists right there. Letting go of the fear and anger at what has happened or could happen is what I feel we are here on Earth to achieve. If you need to remove something toxic, by all means, remove it. There are some things that you must cut out for your own survival. But everything else, try to just be present in the moment with it and don't hold grudges at past actions and don't fear future wrongs. Allow yourself to feel happy and content with the world and with yourself for right now. Maybe your father figure can be there for that. Maybe your father figure can help add to the joy and love. Maybe you can forgive your father or maybe you can forgive yourself. Maybe today is the day that happens. 

Happy Father's Day.

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