Notes from the Post-it Wall — Advice to My Brother and His Fiancé on their Wedding Day Edition
• Despite what way too many people say, marriage isn’t hard. Living with someone, sharing the decision-making process with someone, sharing a bathroom with someone, knowing every gross and annoying thing that someone does, finding it hard to get a goddamn moment to yourself because that someone wants to always fucking talk to you about something… That’s hard.
• Go to bed angry. It’s always better to finish the fight in the morning with a clear head.
• The person driving is the captain. Only at the captain’s discretion can the passenger provide navigation or wield any influence over the radio.
• That whole thing about marriage being when two people become one is a load of horsepucky. You will always be two different individuals with different moods, interests and experiences. Remember that always. Don’t be fooled by the hyped-up romance of things. Maintain the things that make each of you the individuals you have come to love. That’s the only way you’ll maintain a happy and functioning marriage. If you lose yourselves, you lose each other.
• If you think there are too many pillows on your bed, there are probably too many pillows on your bed. I’ve been to your house; there are too many pillows on your bed.
• Give the each other permission to be who you’re going to be. Allow a wide berth for emotional evolution. Remember that you’re on the same team even when you’re in a disagreement. Say “I’m sorry.” Say it often. And for Christ’s sake, have fun with each other. Be weird, be funny, be dumb, because that’s what love is.