The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Batman Gets Kicked Out of The Justice League

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Batman Gets Kicked Out of The Justice League

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by Joe Janes

 

 

Justice League Round Table Meeting

 

Attendance: Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, The Flash,  Cyborg

March, 28, 2018  9:30am

Superman – Thank you all for meeting, today. We have some very important business to discuss.

Batman – Just get on with it.

Superman – Bruce. Please. Not everyone knows-

Batman – Everyone knows, Clark. Even Flash knows.

Flash – What do I know?

Aquaman – That we’re going to kick Batman out of The Justice League.

Flash – I’m always the last to know.

Wonder Woman – For being so fast, you’re a little-

Batman – You wouldn’t even have a place to have this meeting if it weren’t for my money!

Wonder Woman – Well, that’s another thing. We don’t want your money anymore. You can keep it. You give us money and then you act like you can tell us what to do.

Batman – Of course, because it’s my money. That’s how business works. The guy with the money calls the shots.

Cyborg – Would someone tell me what this is about? I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for Mr. Wayne.

Superman – Bruce, I’m not saying you haven’t been a major contributor. Many of us would not be in the same room together were it not for you. You have done some great things. But enough is enough. We can’t keep overlooking your extreme use of guns just because you have a lot of money.

Batman – Sorry I didn’t come from another planet like you, or that I’m not some meta-human freak, or a woman. I have money and I have bullets. And a cool car.

Wonder Woman – You live in a cave.

Batman – I live in Wayne Manor.

Flash – Which is built above a cave where you do spend most of your time. With all your guns.

Batman – I love my guns. I have a right to my guns. You can’t kick me out just because I love my guns.

Superman – We can kick you out because you’re a danger to people. You use semi-automatic weapons that spray bullets everywhere. You kill henchmen like their lives don’t matter-

Cyborg – Henchmen Lives Matter.

Batman – They’re henchmen.

Flash – They’re human beings. You don’t know why they are henchmen.

Aquaman - They might just be trying to put krill on the table. I think the Man of Steel has a point.

Batman – Is that how you all feel? You want me to just take my guns and go away?

Superman – That’s not what we want, Bruce. We want your guns to go away. You can stay.

Batman – My guns go, I go.

Wonder Woman – Sorry to hear that.

Batman – And my money.

Aquaman – We’ll get by. I’m a king. I have some resources.

Batman – All right, then.

(Batman throws a smoke bomb and exits via a grappling gun shot up at the ceiling’s skylight.)

Cyborg – We can still see you.

Batman – Stop looking!

(Batman opens the skylight and leaves)

Flash – He was a little intense.

Superman – Let’s move on to other business.

Wonder Woman – We were going to talk about building a space station to help monitor the earth and protect it from threats from the rest of the universe.

Cyborg – That’s going to cost a lot of money. Sure, we won’t need Bruce.

(Aquaman picks up a satchel and empties its contents on to the roundtable.)

Flash – What’s that?

Aquaman – My riches!

Wonder Woman – Those are some very pretty sea shells.

Aquaman – We can sell them by the sea shore!

 

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