I Believe… [Christmas Layoffs Are the Spawn of Hell]
…that any company that fires someone just before Christmas should be burned to the ground. That includes lauded comedy institutions, banks, orphanages and indie record stores.
…that the loudest person in the room usually has the least to say. That includes both myself and the political extremists on either side of the aisle.
…that, at this point, any movie recommendation from either an Alt Right idiot or a Social Justice Jackass is subject to a salt lick the size of a Volkswagen Beetle. The Rage Profiteers have shitty taste in culture.
…that Christmas likely sucks at the Trump family gathering. I mean, that’s a lot of fucking coal but I guess he promised them their mining jobs, right?
…that nothing compares to Christmas at my mom’s house in the middle of Kansas.