I Believe.. [At Least He's Number One in Scandals]
…that heckling Louis C.K. to “get his dick out” is funny but not in the least heroic. Get over yourselves, dipshits. Heroism has to have a higher bar than that.
…that the process of actually boxing up and moving shit out of the home you’ve made automatically offsets any sense of nostalgia you might have had for the place.
…that, if the holidays and family cause a bunch of undo and unwelcome stress, might I suggest you are taking yourself a bit too seriously?
…that furniture should be designed to fit through doors and be constructed to carry down stairs. The idea that you’ll buy a house and never move is one of a bygone era.
…that this Mueller investigation has patiently and methodically put together nothing short of the most corrupt and systematic presidential scandal in history.