Eric Trump’s Bedtime Prayer

By David Himmel

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the presidency my daddy to keep

If I should die before I wake
I pray Don Junior’s soul God also take

And if Jared should ever fail
That I get his job and he goes to jail

That daddy appreciates my gooey hair
And also my face though it's made to scare

And if I should get caught for fraud
That daddy makes it go away like he did with Dodd

I pray daddy remembers me
That I’m not forgotten like sister Tiffany

And that my wife never finds out
What a sheet stain I am without a doubt

And when the gooks bomb our land
As we burn, daddy holds my hand

That daddy’s ratings get a needed bump
And that he loves me more than Barron Trump

God, bless everybody I know
Except for those subhuman democrats

Amen.