The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – “Stormfront White Nationalist Community Summit”
by Joe Janes
Cumberland Mountain State Park, Crossville, Tennessee
Notes taken by Jerry Chino because Brent Ray Shane asked him to
- Quote of the Day has to go to Peener Huber from Puck County. He was just overheard at the snack table saying, “I like my coffee like I like my inferior races…black!” We all laughed at that. Personally, I like my coffee with a lot of cream. The more the better. If it doesn’t taste like a glass of milk, then it’s a bad cup of coffee. That’s my opinion.
- Attendance is a little lighter than normal this year because of Yom Kippur. Some days are just better than others for vandalizing synagogues.
- The Tennessee Volunteer Patriots are here providing security and accidentally shot three of their own members, so far. The incidents occurred when they tried to participate in our family sack race while wearing their semi-automatic rifles. Hal Dickey should have known better. He did the same damn thing last year. He's down to seven toes. Always take your rifle off first, fellas! I always hand mine to my wife, Molly, or my boy, Steven Segal Chino. He’s eight! I call him Daddy’s Little Bump Stock.
- We were supposed to have dinner at the Beef & Barrel Restaurant & Lounge last night, but our reservation was cancelled by the owner because he thinks we’re a “hate” group. Why must we be so persecuted! Whatever happened to that amendment that’s not the second amendment? The one about free speak? That’s what we hate. Restaurants that try to take away our freedom of speak. As tasty as meat from a barrel is, I will never eat there ever again. We went to the Shoney’s across the street, instead, which was happy to have us because they suck and no one goes to Shoney’s anymore.
- Brent Ray Shane just did the welcome speech. He said, "We wanted to actually make this more of an activist-oriented conference and get a younger audience.” The conference will feature workshops on running for local office and using the Internet to dig up personal details about "adversaries and allies." They include: “Call Your Congressman a Pussy to his Face”, “Tiki Torches and Hate – How to Give Your Protest March That Warm, Friendly Feeling” and, for the kids, “Find People with Different Color Skin - Pokémon in Real Life”
- There's an outdoor wedding going on at the shelter next door. They’re being very disruptive, but we were able to drown them out with some Kid Rock. Dance to that, motherfuckers. I don’t know anyone who can. Kid Rock is drink-your-Bud-and-nod-your-head-with-your-eyes-closed music. Great for driving. The bride is crying. We get it, you're getting married. Enough with the waterworks.
- Last note: The conference is a great success. Big and it keeps getting bigger. Look, here comes a large group of people showing up who didn’t register. They all brought their own signs and are shouting with great enthusiasm. I am excited to welcome these new…nope. Never mind. Protestors.
- Even with the protestors, it was a good turnout. Getting together and celebrating our heritage is as American as apple pie, swastikas, and confederate flags.See you next year!