All in J.L. Thurston

Mommy Shaming

Whenever I left her in another’s care I was weighted down with excessive guilt because I know the pain this kid can unleash. But she only does it to me. And I couldn’t stop wondering why?

Mommy shaming. That’s why.

True Stories from the ER: Do You Have a Uterus?

Do you have a uterus? It is a question we should be allowed to ask in a hospital. Especially those who work in radiology, a field that could potentially end a pregnancy with X-rays. Because that’s what it’s all about. The sole purpose of a uterus is to house a developing fetus. And — no matter what you identify as — if you have a uterus we in the hospital need to know whether there’s a chance for pregnancy. Drugs, radiation, and certain procedures can harm or kill a fetus.

The Most Epic St. Paddy's I've Ever Had

Everyone is Irish on St. Paddy’s, but I drank more like a Russian that night. We sat in a circle and took shots of vodka like it was the only liquid in the world that could sustain us. I lined up nine shots and put them away professionally. I was ready to enjoy my life and I knew booze would get me there. But sitting around with nine shots of petroleum disguised as vodka, I was disappointed in my lack of buzz and made my way downstairs for a smoke.

The Day I Visited Animal Jail

I had never been inside the Humane Society before. Whenever I talk dogs with people they tell me to avoid that place because it’s a kill shelter and no one should support a kill shelter. But I always thought that if we don’t adopt the animals from those places, we’re sentencing them to death. Plus, if you aren’t picky about a breed or age of your dog you may as well go to a shelter and take one home. Right?

Tangibility of Happiness

He always notices. No one else does. Those buttery eyes, like velvet embraces when they glance upon you. How is it possible for eyes to hold the universe? He can’t be human. He’s a man who moves with wings upon his shoulders, his feet just above the dirty ground, never soiled by the earth. And he always notices you.

Almost Had to Say Goodbye

I had been writing a piece for Literate Ape about how New Years resolutions are complete bullshit and my utter disdain for making promises to oneself that one will just forget in a month or so. But I tossed it. In the light of recent events, the piece is tacky and negative. I don’t care about much right now except my mom making it through surgery and my dad keeping it together.

Pick Up At The Bar

The red door is near, faded and worn from the hands of so many patrons. From the quiet sidewalk, the din is growing. In the pretense of the holidays, the flock gathers at their flowing altar and pray long hours deep into their bottles. They cheer at sports, they laugh about each other’s lives. Farmers, factory workers, caregivers, teachers. The little town’s heartbeat throbs inside where the air is dark and the fragrance of stale cigarettes sits in the back of throats.

The Haunting Regret Can Become Gratitude

For years after AMDA, I struggled to accept my decision. I had turned my back on a city that I loved, people that I had formed a beautiful bond with, and a dream I had nurtured throughout my childhood. Surrounded by the Midwest and all that entails, I saw beauty in nothing, and no matter what I took into my body I never felt fulfilled.