All in Chris Churchill

Minding My Own Business

I watch birds fly and I wonder what that would be like. I see bees working together to get pollen and I wonder what that would be like. (By the way, I feel bad when I trap a fly in my car, because, you know, he’s never gonna find his way home.) I feel like I’d like to be a wolf or a bear. And, I also look at other groups of people, and I wonder what that would be like. That wondering about what it would be like to be them, often gives way to a jealousy about not being them. 

The White People I Hate

I’m a white guy. My wife is white, by today’s standards anyway. By that, I mean she’s Sicilian. She doesn’t speak Italian but her parents did. She is of Sicilian descent, shall we say. And there was a time not too long ago in American history where Italians, specifically Sicilians (you know, the brownish ones), we’re not truly considered white. Maybe the measure back then was, “Would they sell him the KKK robe?” And the answer in my wife’s parents’ case would be “No. Don’t sell those Sicilians this nice, fresh, white KKK robe.” See what I mean. Societal constructs, blah blah blah, etc.

If you are averse to religious discussions, I warn you now, “Bible Verses Lie Ahead.” Not for the reason you usually see them thrown around, though. I’m not going to judge you here. In fact, being a fan of the Bible for what I see it to be, I strongly value the statement, “Judge not, lest ye be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” Jesus (if that is Your real name...) said that in the King James Version of the Bible, Book of Matthew, Chapter 7, verse 2. There are countless translations, of course, take your pick.

Why Don't You Recognize Your Own Story, Evangelicals?

I know this digital magazine isn’t generally the forum for anything bordering on religion but I have found I have quite the talent for belaboring a metaphor. Allow me to do that several times more in this piece for the purpose of making a very large point. The point being, “When Did You Stop Believing Your Own Story, Evangelicals?” And “When don’t you recognize your own Beast?”

Whataboutism's For Kids!

There seem to be a lot of insurmountable differences between certain factions and, of course, not all differences can be worked out. That’s depressing sometimes. However, a lot fewer differences can be worked out by encouraging as many as will accept and understand the idea that absolutism and Whataboutism aren’t the only ways to understand morality.

Incredulity as Default Emotion

I’ve noticed a real problem in society these days. And it’s been a long time in its full manifestation but it’s here. The default emotion for humans walking amongst other humans in public spaces has become incredulity. Sure it’s annoying, but it’s also really problematic. 

And Sometimes I Drive A Trolley

I do a lot of stuff. I write for this magazine. I teach improv, film, documentary and theater to kids. I teach test prep to teens. I teach communication and public speaking courses to college freshmen. But when it comes to the subject of me, the thing that seems to get most people’s attention, is my oldest stream of income. I drive a trolley and give tours. I have for over 20 years.

Anatomy Of A Bad Haircut

I’m not just telling you about his hair to feel superior. There, but for the grace of God and the lack of an intelligent and stylish woman in my life, go I. I’m no GQ model myself by the way. I don’t even have all my testicles. I promise I’m not punching down.